Reunion Thoughts
Some years ago my father and I were discussing my mother who was in an earlier stage of Alzheimer’s and still living at home.  He was sharing her forgetfulness, her demented anger, and the hurtful words, as well as the day-hikes they were taking into the mountains, the illogical humor, and the simple conversation still available to them.  He said, “Steve, these are the best of times.”  Perhaps these no longer the best of times for him as he drives twice a day to feed her and love her even though there is little response.  In terms of our recent weekend this may become our lot about three reunions from now.

            Looking in the other direction, my kids have already been through their ten-year high school gathering, which for us was just three reunions ago

            Many of us are caring for our parents and others for our grandchildren (or both), and  sharing the joys and the sufferings of our children.  So, we are in that time of life when we look in both directions at those passages and the lives of those around us from new life to its end.  It is a time of sharing what we have learned and still learning of what may lie ahead.  From those all too brief conversations at the reunion I heard of those passages. Even from those who were hunting with your sons or caring for your parents at home I heard in your biographies pride in accomplishments, joys of family, hints of loneliness, stories of tragedy, as well as triumph over adversity, and experiences of lives being fully lived.  I’ve read that the two most popular reunions are military units and high school classes and the reason is that they bring people back together who shared stressful and growing experiences in their lives. For many of us all have in common is close birthdays and four years of our youth but my, what years they were!  From each other we learned of friendship and for many we learned much about love.  Good times.

            I was glad to be at the reunion and happy to hear from all of you.  From you I am learning that we still share these times; that we make these passages together as well as alone.  As I reread what I had written in my bio I discover in it an implicit desire to present my self as a whole person, someone whose life is finally all put together as I thought it would surely be by now (this was when I was much younger.)  It simply is not.  Regrets over things I shouldn’t have said or done, unmet goals, and unfulfilled dreams are as much a part of my life as the accomplishments.  But there is always hope. The desire to live again in our present circumstances, the striving for a new life amid the old, to continue to learn and grow, even to forgive and rebuild relationships are a part of a future waiting to be shared reunion by reunion.  If I once thought that becoming wiser was the ability to make good decisions with deep insight, now I think it is more the ability to be grateful for all that life has had or will have to offer.

            I submit to you that these are the best of times.
-Steve H